Too shy to pray in public?

Have you ever being asked to pray out loud in a gathering of family, friends or both and you suddenly don’t know what exactly to pray for, or how to coin the words together?  Or you wonder why you were picked and not someone else. Then, out of nervousness, you say a simple prayer, which may not seem good enough to the hearers, evidenced by the disappointed looks.

                           

                                                     

Well, this was me on Monday evening. Hehehe.

When asked by my mother in law to pray for my sister in law’s son who was ill, my first thought was why me? Why not my husband or his sister or the young boy’s father. Why does she always ask me to pray whenever she doesn’t (which is once in a while). I felt totally unprepared and in defiance I said the We fly to your patronage prayer and ended it with the sign of the cross.  This is a simple catholic prayer said when people want to depart from a gathering. However it didn’t seem to apply in this situation due to my nephew’s ill health. I was expected to pray for healing and blessings, especially as in a group, the prayer of one person is the prayer of everyone.

 I looked around and saw the disappointment in her face. My husband even said, ’huh, is that all’? In my stubborn defiance, I said, ‘wasn’t that a prayer’? My mother in law, who I must say is a prayer warrior, immediately led a 10 minutes intensive prayer session, which she expected from me initially.

I have always preferred praying either in solitude or with my husband. No pressures to use the perfect words to impress anybody. Most times when I suspect I would be asked to pray I organize my prayer points in my head so as not to disappoint anyone and most importantly to impress the hearers with my eloquence.

I explained all these to my husband when he asked me on our way home why I said such a simple prayer. He made me realize that first of all, instead of feeling cornered or picked on when asked to pray by anyone, I should take it as a compliment. My mother in law is aware that I take my quiet time with God seriously and expects that I would have a rich prayer life. She sees me as spiritually sound and feels my prayers would be like hers. I should see it as a privilege for me to serve others with my prayers especially as I am supposed to have a heightened wealth of theology from my listening to Joyce Meyer’s teachings.   He also said I should realize that I am praying to God and not to humans. Therefore I should not yield to the temptation to please them with my eloquence when I pray.

God doesn’t need to hear the perfect words before He blesses or draws near to us. What He asks for is a contrite heart and a lowly spirit, things He will never refuse (Psalm 51:17), no matter how eloquent our prayers.

Funny enough,earlier that day I was led to fast and I specifically asked that God reveal to me fallow grounds in my life that needed His touch as I want to bear fruit. Little did I know I would get such a prompt answer. Lol. Indeed only the truth can set one free.

I am really glad for the lesson I learnt that night through my husband. It showed me that I am far from perfect, still an active work in progress. The fact that I blog about spiritual things doesn’t mean I don’t have spiritual issues and complexes that needs work. Surely, I can’t change overnight. However, by the Holy Spirit’s help I can pray in public without my self-consciousness hampering the prayers. I believe it is a pride of the flesh to have a need to impress people with my prayers.      

         

I will keep asking God to reveal more areas of my life that needs His divine touch. I strive to live a victorious Christian life and I am eager by the help of the Holy Spirit to press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

Action plan

Hebrews 4:16- Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.